How do you deal with acceptance?
How do you deal with rejection?
How do you give yourself a break
And stop expecting perfection?
How do you keep nerves from eating you up?
How do you relax and glow?
How do you smile like everything's great
And cover your nerves with a show?
I wish I could see in the future
Just a little bit past today
And see if I'm happy of how things go
Or whether I'm hiding away
I hope things go according
I hope I wind up okay
I wish I could just see a little bit further
And see from tomorrow, today
I tell myself to stop being silly
I've been waiting for this for a year
So why have I practiced and practiced and practiced,
And only now, sets the fear?
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Scope Magazine
In "Scope Magazine," I read about reasons why you should sing. I absolutely agree- singing is good in all scenarios!! The magazine says that singing can:
-Release molecules in your body that help fight infection
-Bring oxygen into the blood, which is good for your heart
-Release endorphin in your brain, which makes you happy
You don't have to be good at singing to benefit from it- this is open to literally anyone and everyone! Singing is proven to have a calming effect on people. Next time you're stressed about something, just try singing.
-Release molecules in your body that help fight infection
-Bring oxygen into the blood, which is good for your heart
-Release endorphin in your brain, which makes you happy
You don't have to be good at singing to benefit from it- this is open to literally anyone and everyone! Singing is proven to have a calming effect on people. Next time you're stressed about something, just try singing.
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Short Story: Secrets (or "Looking Up")
"Fiona?" Mara leaned thoughtfully over the park bench. She looked pensive. Her blue eyes were focused straight ahead.
"Yeah?" Fiona lay lazily across the park bench, a serene smile on her face.
"If I tell you something, do you promise never to tell it to anyone else?"
Fiona opened her eyes and sat up, swinging her legs to the ground. "Yeah, sure! Go ahead."
"I wanted to tell you since you're my closest friend. I'm still wrapping my head around it. I've known for about three weeks. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I hope you can understand. See, my mom took me to a doctor's office a few weeks ago and they did some testing on me. They asked me questions and such. They called back a few days later and told me to come back in. They gave me a medication for depression."
Fiona's stomach clenched fiercely. "What?" She asked, full of confusion.
"They said I have depression. Don't worry though...I'm taking medicine now so everything is okay."
Fiona's eyebrows raised. She knew deep down that Mara was telling the truth, but she felt she had to deny it. "I've known you since we were eight." She said slowly, "that isn't right. You're such a happy person. I've never noticed you getting especially sad before. You aren't depressed. You were having a bad week or something."
Mara frowned. "Look...I don't know how they can tell it's more than just a bad week but they can. I never really thought of it as being 'depressed' either, but now that I know and I have medicine, I feel ten times better than I used to. It's working, Fiona. I feel better."
Fiona didn't want to believe something was wrong with her friend, so she stayed silent. It was a hard thing to accept.
"But how? I mean, come on. You're always happy."
Mara closed her eyes briefly. Trying to keep her patience, she spoke clearly and coolly. "I know it's hard but you honestly can't tell me how I feel when no one's around."
Fiona was silent. Mara didn't say anything more. The girls stayed in the park for hours afterwards. They sat there in silence, until eventually, Fiona lay a hand on Mara's. Still in silence, Mara smiled.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Spring Break 2017
My spring break was relaxing, enjoyable, and fun. Over the week, I did a number of fun things including seeing close friends Wednesday and Thursday, and walking around the neighborhood with my mom, but I'd have to say my favorite time happened this Friday and Saturday. My cousins and grandma live in a small town in Indiana about three hours away from us, and my mom and I decided to go visit them.
Unfortunately, both my cousins and grandma have cats, so my allergic brothers and dad couldn't go. One of the highlights of the trip for me was the drive there and back. My mom knows that I love musicals and I got her into my favorites. So on the trip there, we played all of our favorite Broadway songs, including the Newsies Broadway album, Oliver!, Tuck Everlasting, and Wicked. It was a great trip for me, because I cannot listen to these songs quietly. I tell myself to relax, listen to the song quietly, and just enjoy it. This lasts for a about three seconds and then next thing I know, I'm belting Newsies at top volume, very very dramatically.
So, for the car trip, I belted out every single song we listened to. (This included singing along to Fagin's songs in Oliver!.) For the full three hours, I sang and sang and sang and sang. It was heaven for me. Seeing my cousins and grandma was fantastic. My grandma and I went out to the mall, then we came and surprised my cousins, and had a cookout. I spent the night with my cousin, Ali, ate chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, and played outside.
One of my favorite parts about their house, is their swing. In their huge backyard, my cousins have a swing made out of a two ropes and a board. It doesn't just go back and forth. At least, not how we do it. Their swing is able to wrap around the tree, with you on it. You then push off so you unwind, and you ride in a wide half circle so when you come back, you wrap around the other end. It's a long, slow, amazing ride. You go far, far out, and it always catches a breeze. Sometimes you spin when you go. It is the very definition of the feeling of freedom. Above the grass, wind in my hair, flying free.
On the way home the next day, my mom and I played the same songs and sure enough, I sang along all over again. I love that we did that two days in a row. We had so much fun together.
I became so obsessed with these songs, that yesterday, I ended up having to be told to go upstairs because my mom was working hard in the kitchen and I was about four feet away, practically on my knees, dramatically belting out the final note to an incredibly dramatic song, oblivious to the fact that my mom was working. "Could you do that elsewhere?" Was the nice way of saying "I'm trying to work!!"
I've also been making plans for myself for the summer. I will be auditioning for the community theater musical, All Shook Up, this Thursday. If I don't get in, I have a backup Beauty and the Beast audition in May. I'll also be attending a musical theater camp over the summer, and hopefully putting together an official actor's resume and headshots. We also found out about an amazing sounding program where you send in an audition film of yourself singing to a CCM musical theater program that takes place on U.C campus. It's one of the best programs in the country. If you get in, you will be in a musical theater intensive in which you will travel to Atlanta, Georgia to the country musical theater festival and meet with professional Broadway actors and actresses for advice. It's not until August but I'm in planning!
Unfortunately, both my cousins and grandma have cats, so my allergic brothers and dad couldn't go. One of the highlights of the trip for me was the drive there and back. My mom knows that I love musicals and I got her into my favorites. So on the trip there, we played all of our favorite Broadway songs, including the Newsies Broadway album, Oliver!, Tuck Everlasting, and Wicked. It was a great trip for me, because I cannot listen to these songs quietly. I tell myself to relax, listen to the song quietly, and just enjoy it. This lasts for a about three seconds and then next thing I know, I'm belting Newsies at top volume, very very dramatically.
So, for the car trip, I belted out every single song we listened to. (This included singing along to Fagin's songs in Oliver!.) For the full three hours, I sang and sang and sang and sang. It was heaven for me. Seeing my cousins and grandma was fantastic. My grandma and I went out to the mall, then we came and surprised my cousins, and had a cookout. I spent the night with my cousin, Ali, ate chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, and played outside.
One of my favorite parts about their house, is their swing. In their huge backyard, my cousins have a swing made out of a two ropes and a board. It doesn't just go back and forth. At least, not how we do it. Their swing is able to wrap around the tree, with you on it. You then push off so you unwind, and you ride in a wide half circle so when you come back, you wrap around the other end. It's a long, slow, amazing ride. You go far, far out, and it always catches a breeze. Sometimes you spin when you go. It is the very definition of the feeling of freedom. Above the grass, wind in my hair, flying free.
On the way home the next day, my mom and I played the same songs and sure enough, I sang along all over again. I love that we did that two days in a row. We had so much fun together.
I became so obsessed with these songs, that yesterday, I ended up having to be told to go upstairs because my mom was working hard in the kitchen and I was about four feet away, practically on my knees, dramatically belting out the final note to an incredibly dramatic song, oblivious to the fact that my mom was working. "Could you do that elsewhere?" Was the nice way of saying "I'm trying to work!!"
I've also been making plans for myself for the summer. I will be auditioning for the community theater musical, All Shook Up, this Thursday. If I don't get in, I have a backup Beauty and the Beast audition in May. I'll also be attending a musical theater camp over the summer, and hopefully putting together an official actor's resume and headshots. We also found out about an amazing sounding program where you send in an audition film of yourself singing to a CCM musical theater program that takes place on U.C campus. It's one of the best programs in the country. If you get in, you will be in a musical theater intensive in which you will travel to Atlanta, Georgia to the country musical theater festival and meet with professional Broadway actors and actresses for advice. It's not until August but I'm in planning!
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Irrational
Childhood fears are usually irrational
Silly
Ridiculous
But still very much there
I had a fear of being alone
When one parent would leave,
I would fear that they'd never come back
That something horrible would happen to them
I began to picture what my life would be like without them
I collected the belongings that had been given to me by them
I began to run through memories in my head
Great times I'd spent with them
Anxiety and worry crept up over me
I tried to keep it at bay
But if they were even ten minutes later than what they said they'd be,
I would worry myself to death
I'd sit quietly in my bedroom
Staring out the window
Watching
Waiting
Hoping
Waiting to see our old silver minivan roll into the driveway
Fingering with a necklace or some little dollar store trinket that they'd gotten me
Feeling relieved, safer when that old van finally would come
They always came home
But it took me a little bit to see that
Silly
Ridiculous
But still very much there
I had a fear of being alone
When one parent would leave,
I would fear that they'd never come back
That something horrible would happen to them
I began to picture what my life would be like without them
I collected the belongings that had been given to me by them
I began to run through memories in my head
Great times I'd spent with them
Anxiety and worry crept up over me
I tried to keep it at bay
But if they were even ten minutes later than what they said they'd be,
I would worry myself to death
I'd sit quietly in my bedroom
Staring out the window
Watching
Waiting
Hoping
Waiting to see our old silver minivan roll into the driveway
Fingering with a necklace or some little dollar store trinket that they'd gotten me
Feeling relieved, safer when that old van finally would come
They always came home
But it took me a little bit to see that
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
If I Had a Ticket To Anywhere...
If I had a free ticket to anywhere, it would be a truly impossible decision.
How could I ever decide?
From Sherwood Forest, England
To Dublin, Ireland
To traveling back in time to the 60's or the 50's
To "the greatest city in the world," New York City, finally see a real Broadway show (Or better yet, be in it)
I could take my ticket and use it to unlock a book
Jump inside the pages without a second thought
Watch my favorite scenes unfold
Be there to witness them
See my beloved characters in the flesh
Again, how could I ever not?
I can't choose one and deny the others
My ticket would have to be take me everywhere
Fictional
Fantastical
Real
Classical
Anywhere and everywhere. Limitless.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Scope Magazine Article
In the "Scope" magazine article "The Girl Who Played Football," the author writes about a fourteen year old girl named Rachel Eaves who became the captain of her football team - while being the only girl on the team. It talks about how she got into football, what it was like being the only girl, and what it taught her.
I really like the idea of the interview - it shows that playing football doesn't take being a boy. Girls can play too. I myself am not a fan of football but I say, if you are, even if you're a girl, GO for it! This article just proves that a girl can succeed in football. I agree that not enough girls either think they can or are given the chance to do so. Girls need to know that they have just as much worth and just as much strength and endurance as boys do. There are no boy's sports and girl's sports.
This being said, I also respect Rachel's choice to quit. I absolutely think that if it is safe, a girl can keep playing in high school but while girls are JUST as strong as boys, they are naturally somewhat smaller and that could be definitely be a danger in high school. Putting yourself in a position like that is not a good choice. I definitely think this is a great article that has a message that should be heard a little more clearly!
I really like the idea of the interview - it shows that playing football doesn't take being a boy. Girls can play too. I myself am not a fan of football but I say, if you are, even if you're a girl, GO for it! This article just proves that a girl can succeed in football. I agree that not enough girls either think they can or are given the chance to do so. Girls need to know that they have just as much worth and just as much strength and endurance as boys do. There are no boy's sports and girl's sports.
This being said, I also respect Rachel's choice to quit. I absolutely think that if it is safe, a girl can keep playing in high school but while girls are JUST as strong as boys, they are naturally somewhat smaller and that could be definitely be a danger in high school. Putting yourself in a position like that is not a good choice. I definitely think this is a great article that has a message that should be heard a little more clearly!
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Worth the Risk
Have you ever loved something
Not just with your heart,
but your whole being?
Have you ever felt that lightning bolt
That strikes through your mind, body, and soul
Every time you explore it?
Like a fire lighting in your veins
Have you ever just known
Felt in your heart
That you can and will spend your time
Your energy
Your mind
Your everything
On that one thing?
That feeling that allows you to
That feeling that allows you to
Close your eyes and envision
Your dream
And it's so vivid that you can really believe
It's going to come true
And you can tell that it's not just a passing phase
And you can tell that it's not just a passing phase
And maybe it comes with risks
But some things are worth risk-taking for
That's all there is to it
And maybe you don't like risks
Maybe the idea of taking them scares you to death
But you just know
You can just feel
That some risks are worth taking
For doing what it is you love
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Welcome to My Blog!
Hi! I'm Gillian and this is my writing blog. My favorite genre of writing is poetry and I absolutely love reading. My favorite novels are Robin Hood by Howard Pyle and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Though I love poetry, I also write short stories and factual posts. Besides writing, I am a fairly serious ballet/pointe dancer and have a passion for musical theater and nature. Thank you for checking out my posts and I hope you enjoy them!
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